Long ass couple of weeks... Seems like I sort one thing out, only for another to pop up out of nowhere. I'm tired. It's tiring. It's stressful. Sometimes I just want to sleep and not wake up anytime soon.. I was talking to someone the other day and was like "wake me up in about 50 years".. *sigh* but I won't complain. That was my resolution this year, and so far I've kept to it (at least on here.. so far..) Okay, so what's been going on...
First of, my grandpa passed bout two weeks ago. It was rather sudden, no one expected it. He wasn't sick, was very healthy for his age.. But it happened. Or so I hear. I still don't believe it, but everytime I remember him, and the thought that I won't see him again (until heaven) I get miserable and sad. I still remember his voice, and how he played the piano... Oh and his typewriter. He was a writer, (authored two books) and I think it was from him that I developed my love for writing, though I never told anyone. This blog isn't my first 'writing' project. I've been writing since I can remember... Mostly short stories (for kids) and poems... it's really sad. He was a gentleman and a gentle man, hardly ever got mad (even when I think he should have), he was really humble and simple, very content with the 'little' things, like family, piano-playing and gardening.. And for some reason, I thought he was always going to be there or here... *sigh* let me stop..
Then secondly, like things have been kinda stressful as of late. I haven't been in the mood to do much else other than sleep and to do the stuff I absolutely have to do. I haven't been a joy to be around lately.. Usually when I'm sad or going through stuff, I manage to mask it very well so no one knows, and its business as usual.. But now, I just want to go and hide somewhere.. don't feel like talking much or doing much.. including working out.. Been out of touch with people that I should like really talk to, and I just feel like I haven't really been there or here.. Its deep, I know I feel like crap, and I (may think I) am going through a lot right now (i actually really, really think so). But I also need to realize and remember that there are people I am responsible for.. People I need to take care of.. And that I also need to be there/here for people irregardless of what's going on with me.. But like I said, its hard... And dark... So like I can't see very clearly atm... But it's all good though, well not really, but I believe it will be... *sigh* and there I go.. I have managed to do what I said I wouldn't do, and that's post negativity on here.. But shit, shit happens... It's not always gonna be a 'bed of roses'.. And anyone who says otherwise is telling tales... I'm going to sleep now.. I've had enough of today. Thank God it's spring break, so I don't really have much to do tonight (okay, I lie, but I just can't be bothered..) anyways, I know tomorrow's gonna be better and that everything will work out just fine. I just have to stand... And not let all the bs get to me. Hope everyone else having a wonderful day...
Ps: always remember to smile, guess why.. Cos Jesus loves you!!
the upset, but sexy
oao
