a (brief) lesson on human relations

I just saw something on my twitter that reads,

"never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person who dislikes you wont believe it"...

That's so true. Like I've been gone for a hot minute, not necessarily for lack of material, but because I've been trying to sort stuff out... Plus I'm real busy these days... My 'free time' consists of me trying to catch up on stuff (sleep being being at the top of my list of 'stuff') and sometimes the last thing I need is someone who's supposed to be a 'friend' in my ear, complaining about or criticizing me or something I did or didn't do.. Like for real, before you criticize, take a second to think where this person is coming from... Ask how their day has been, what they've been going through. Fair enough, everyone goes through stuff at some point, some more than others... As a friend or altogether decent human being you should at least inquire... in the very least.. and if that is too much, then leave the person alone... your negative input is definitely not needed. And when you ask, the person may or may not open up.. thats not whats important. What's important is letting that person know that you care (once again, it is not by force to care, if you don't back the hell off) Sometimes that's all a person needs... Not a long, drawn out and unnecessary lecture/confrontation... It is important to bear in mind that sometimes they may not want your 'advice' at that point in time, so kindly keep your opinions to yourself.. Just let them know you care (if you do) thats all.lol

Anyways... Another quote I saw a couple days ago went something like, 'expecting the world to be nice to you because you're a good person is like expecting a lion not to eat you because you're vegetarian' (don't remember the quote verbatim, but you get my drift...) This struck a chord, not just because I'm vegetarian (lol), but because I used to be that girl who expected everyone to be nice and polite because she was.. I used to go 'it's not fair, why should he/she do that when I wouldn't do this' or 'I would never do that to someone else, its not fair!'. I've since learned relationships and human beings are seldom ever fair, and the more 'good' you are, the more bullshit you should expect from people. Its like the nicer you are, the more people try to take the piss... Like you give them an inch, and they try to take the whole m-fing backyard...Now I coulda been like it's time to go back to 'oao bitch mode' (lol) (sometimes i miss the bitchy version of oao..) But but I'm like, Imma do me regardless... Won't change who I've because some dumb f#$ks don't know how to act. I'll keep on keeping on.. Not saying I'm perfect yet, but I'll keep on working on being the best version of me I can be in any given situation. But yo... don't take that to think I'm a pushover...lol. It's funny when people think I'm a punk cos I'm soft spoken or can be a tad too emotional at times...lol. The look on people's faces when I 'fight back'... *priceless* I crack up just thinking about it..lol

So yea... haha. I'm done.. Once again I feel like I've shared way too much in this post. Oh well, *shrugs*. The take home message/moral of the story, however, is be considerate before you come down on someone else.. Just think for a second... Its all about 'human relations'lol. Have a nice day.

~the ever so sexy~

oao

ps: sorry my first post this year wasn't as.... well 'nice'.. Will try to make up for it in the next post, which should be by the end of this week... Coming to think of it... I wonder if anyone still reads this... Cos the postings are so sporadic.. oh well... :) Love you (whoever still reads this mwahh :* (no homo if you're female ;))

Happy Thanksgiving!

Okay, I know its December, and Thanksgiving was last week... Let me explain: I had written the post on the day of, however, I didn't get round to putting it up for whatever reason. Anyways I guess it's better late than never, huh? So yea, here goes...

Hey world, how's it been? I've been gone for ages... yet again. I think this is the longest I've gone without blogging, and I won't lie, I kinda missed it. But yea, I'm sorry for the hiatus.. Like so much has been going on.. I thank God that all is well :)

Okay, so today is black Friday (Yayy for all the shoppers!! hope y'all get good deals-lol) I had intended to put this up yesterday- Thanksgiving day, but it was a very busy day hence I didn't get round to doing it. I don't know why, but for some random reason, I remembered one of the Thanksgiving posts I put up and was like this would be a good time to put a post up, yea, I know, random.lol. So here goes, my thanksgiving post, I'm going to make it short- one of the reasons for this being the fact that it has been so long since I posted anything, and well, I may be a little rusty #dontjudgeme;

Thanksgiving:

I'm not going to do the '10 things I'm thankful for' post, not for any other reason than the fact that it would kinda be redundant; I don't want it regurgitate the whole list again..lol.. but for your convenience you can read it here ->

http://onlyforthegrownandsexy.blogspot.com/2009/11/happy-thanksgivin.html

I'm still thankful for all the things on that list and then a whole lot more. I think Thanksgiving is a great time to sit back and reminisce over all the things you're thankful/grateful for. People get caught up with eating the turkey and all the other things that they forget to be thankful. (this was my third vegetarian Thanksgiving btw..lol.. Just thought I'd put that out there) I'm not suggesting that people only be thankful on the last Thursday in November, no, I think this should be done daily.. I'm thankful for all the blessings God has provided for me... That's this post in a nutshell.

This post may not make sense to most people, I'm even trying to make sense of it myself..lol- told you I'd be a little rusty, but I decided to continue anyways, so that I can finally put something up! It's about time too :) Meanwhile, while I was going through the dashboard on here, I saw that I had posted something a while back, and for whatever reason, didn't get round to publishing the post, so I shall do it now (the post, which I think is titled 'Random' may be posted beneath this one- Enjoy, even though I do not remember what its about..lol).

So there you have it, oao finally put something up! yayy!!lol. I'll try and post more often.. Hopefully will put one up really soon, fingers crossed..lol. Hope y'all had an awesome Thanksgiving, and remember to always be Thankful!

*the still ever so sexy*
.oao.

untitled..

Long ass couple of weeks... Seems like I sort one thing out, only for another to pop up out of nowhere. I'm tired. It's tiring. It's stressful. Sometimes I just want to sleep and not wake up anytime soon.. I was talking to someone the other day and was like "wake me up in about 50 years".. *sigh* but I won't complain. That was my resolution this year, and so far I've kept to it (at least on here.. so far..) Okay, so what's been going on...

First of, my grandpa passed bout two weeks ago. It was rather sudden, no one expected it. He wasn't sick, was very healthy for his age.. But it happened. Or so I hear. I still don't believe it, but everytime I remember him, and the thought that I won't see him again (until heaven) I get miserable and sad. I still remember his voice, and how he played the piano... Oh and his typewriter. He was a writer, (authored two books) and I think it was from him that I developed my love for writing, though I never told anyone. This blog isn't my first 'writing' project. I've been writing since I can remember... Mostly short stories (for kids) and poems... it's really sad. He was a gentleman and a gentle man, hardly ever got mad (even when I think he should have), he was really humble and simple, very content with the 'little' things, like family, piano-playing and gardening.. And for some reason, I thought he was always going to be there or here... *sigh* let me stop..

Then secondly, like things have been kinda stressful as of late. I haven't been in the mood to do much else other than sleep and to do the stuff I absolutely have to do. I haven't been a joy to be around lately.. Usually when I'm sad or going through stuff, I manage to mask it very well so no one knows, and its business as usual.. But now, I just want to go and hide somewhere.. don't feel like talking much or doing much.. including working out.. Been out of touch with people that I should like really talk to, and I just feel like I haven't really been there or here.. Its deep, I know I feel like crap, and I (may think I) am going through a lot right now (i actually really, really think so). But I also need to realize and remember that there are people I am responsible for.. People I need to take care of.. And that I also need to be there/here for people irregardless of what's going on with me.. But like I said, its hard... And dark... So like I can't see very clearly atm... But it's all good though, well not really, but I believe it will be... *sigh* and there I go.. I have managed to do what I said I wouldn't do, and that's post negativity on here.. But shit, shit happens... It's not always gonna be a 'bed of roses'.. And anyone who says otherwise is telling tales... I'm going to sleep now.. I've had enough of today. Thank God it's spring break, so I don't really have much to do tonight (okay, I lie, but I just can't be bothered..) anyways, I know tomorrow's gonna be better and that everything will work out just fine. I just have to stand... And not let all the bs get to me. Hope everyone else having a wonderful day...

Ps: always remember to smile, guess why.. Cos Jesus loves you!!

the upset, but sexy
oao 

Asanwa Asanwa Asanwa, baby!

So its such a beautiful day... so much so that I wanna sing Mick Jagger songs all day... But a babe can't do that.. Gats go into work today cos big brother is watching...

This is gonna be short and sweet. One of my friends just got me hip to Ikwerre music mehn. Them delta peeps take enjoyment to another level. Like they have joy mehn.... Peep this song, dude just sounds mad happy to be singing about this ibo chic called obianuju.. makes me wanna learn ibo.. like i've actually been calling myself asanwa baby all over the place.. lol

Why he says 17, 18 , 19 at the end is beyond me but that's ok... the song is dope!!!

Here:





Here's to all my asanwa babies: it's a beautiful beautiful day in the district!!! Enjoy :) :)


Love,

The Martian

Beating myself up again...oh damn

 I just had a 'devil get ye behind me' moment.. Like sometimes I'm my own biggest critic. I just had a random flashback of some of the dumb mistakes I made last year and I realized how I've been carrying some of this drama around with me much so that it's almost like I erected a statue to my own mistakes and I'm unconsciously worshiping it (damn, that was a long sentence).  Like even though I've far removed from said circumstance, the thought of it made me cringe. I realized I was not mad at anybody but myself even though for the longest time I thought I had a reason to be mad at the other party. The truth is I just felt really really bruised and it was almost like something was taunting me.For real..... and that feeling sucked, I tell you.

   Anyhowsers, I just remembered some particular songs that helped me get through said time and I'm putting them up:






In the meantime though, the moment has passed and I'm back on world domination P.  I did get extremely good news last week that may just have helped me decide where I'll end up in the next few months but I'm waiting for the D-day in March to see if I get even better news. I'm pretty stoked right now though...


But back to homework though...


The Martian :)

My Love Letter

My love letter…

There’s no question of Your greatness,

nor searching of Your power

Oh the wonder of Your glory,

to You forty years is but one hour

Your knowledge is all encompassing,

to Your wisdom there is no end…

Oh, for You alone are God.

You are God alone.

Your mercy is everlasting; Your truth is here always

You are He who was and is and is to come…

Who is He that can number Your days?

You flung the sun to burn in space,

and the night’s moon powers light from day.

Oh, You alone... You’re God. You’re God.

You’re everything I need.

You are God alone.

-Marvin Sapp

Okay, I didn’t write that, but it’s the way I feel. I couldn’t have said it better as I don’t quite have the prowess of manipulating words in that manner or to that extent… not yet... but yea, that’s my heart.

Its funny how like I go from talking about things that are ‘bad’, to expressing emotions and feelings of strong anger.. to Spiritual things. I try not to talk about the latter on here for that very reason… because I know that I’m far from perfect and I don’t want people to go, “But she does blah blah, and now she’s talking this and that” but you know what, it’s my blog (partly..lol) so I can write what I like, and like I keep reiterating, I’m human, I’m bound to mess up. And like yea… I just had to write that, guess why… cos He is God alone! Haha

That is all sexys.

Have a Blessed day.

~the ever so sexy~

.oao.

ps: the ‘letter’ is an excerpt from a song by Marvin Sapp (one of my favorite recording artists) ‘You are God alone’ of his album, the 'Diary of a Psalmist'. If you didn’t hear it yet, you should give it a listen.. and also listen to Kirk Franklin’s new joint ‘Smile’… Love it! God Bless

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Lol.. okay, lemme just say it now and let it out and over with… I hate valentines day!!!!lol. that felt good. Now, don’t get it twisted, I am not a hater, neither am I jealous that I haven’t got anyone to ‘val’ or to ‘val’ me… it's just that I hate the commercialization of the occasion (if you wanna call it that). I love the concept of taking one day out of the year to make someone special feel special, that makes sense to me, and if buying flowers and candy is your way of expressing what you feel, kudos. But I think people trivialize it (it being valentine’s day) for some reason, I don’t think its genuine anymore... it’s like Christmas, most of the time people get so caught up in the festivities that they forget the real ‘reason for the season’ (as cliché as that is to say). So its not that I hate valentines day per se, its just… why can’t it be valentine’s day everyday? Why do we need people/culture to make us remember the need to make someone feel special?lol… And they say oao is cold-hearted… my heart is as soft as caramel y’all… forget what you heard… lmao.. okay, that made even me laugh, but you get my point, right? Anyways, now that I’m done with the prelude, lemme get on to the real post…

In honor of love or (lovers’) day, I dedicate this post to the love of my life… Who’s been here for me ever since I can remember, and I can honestly say

I would not be here if it wasn’t for Him. I don’t think there was ever a day when He didn’t show me that He cares, (even though sometimes I failed to notice… because like most people I can be quite myopic and not look at the picture as a whole, but on what I think matters, which most of the time ends up being irrelevant in the grand scheme of things…) He shows me what true love is, by loving me in spite of me and despite what I do (or don't do) and even when I don't love me or think I deserve to be loved. Anyway, I just want to take the time out on a special day such as this to publicly declare how much I really, really love Him. I wish there was a better way to say it, but He sees and knows my 'heart'.

It’s kinda weird, because usually on Valentine’s Day, I have this playlist of my favorite love songs that I listen to nonstop… But this year, maybe because I’m at a different stage in life, or because I didn’t have the time, I haven’t made a proper one yet. I mean, I have a makeshift one, of about 10 songs, but considering I usually have hundreds of songs… lol. I don’t know, I guess my soul wants to celebrate Him who deserves to be celebrated the most today (and every other day for that matter.. but I digress). I know and confess I need to spend more time with Him so that I better understand Him… but I’m human… and I tend to umm… for lack of a better phrase or word, mess up and slack off and let other things get in the way.. *sigh* need to fix that… But yea… Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!! Tell someone you love them today. And also do something special for yourself too, because like 'L'oreal', you're worth it. ;) Haha

Ps: a special valentines day shout out to all my other loves, lovers and friends and grown&sexy people.. and also to my extra special valentine.. ;) :*

the everly sexy

.oao.

My Un-selfish Brother

     So I asked my brother what he'd be doing today seeing as it's his birthday... He said 'nothing o. It's my friend's aunt birthday and I promised I'd show up, plus it's also Biodun's (our cousin's) engagement ceremony and I'm going to that as well...'  I was like alrighty then, you're a better person than I am. I said that because for me, my birthday is MINE!! I do what I like with it, anybody who wants to die that day, I highly encourage them to... Like I dont't even joke with my birthday at all. But then again that's me, I'm the person who buys myself a birthday present every month (yes, visit me on the 23rd to confirm) and TWO presents on January 23.... I can feel you judging me already but that's ok, I actually don't mind.

     But hearing him say that reminded me of how considerate Aldmoni is. Segun Oyefule is the most considerate human being I know, swear down. And you only have to be home with me during the Christmas holidays to verify this. This is what our daily bbm exchange looks like in December:

Me: Oga/aldmoni/Segun how far with today/tonight?

Sege: I don't know. What's up?

Me: We should do something. Lets go to xyz (somewhere that's absurdly far)

Sege: Nah, I'm tired, maybe on the weekend I have work in the morning. Plus I was just at xyz the other day and its just aite, its not that great.

Me: NOOOOOOO...... You're ruining my vacation.. Your mother is killing me in this house... I really want to go to xyz. It'll be fun I promise

Sege: You're on vacation, I have work and a life. (hesitates) Ok, you won't kill me o this girl. Where are you?

Me: I'm at home. Can you come get me?

Sege: Now you're asking for too much..

Me: Ok, I'll come to yours. I can be there in like 30 mins

Sege: It's ok. I'll pick you up. You're annoying, I swear.

Me: Thank you, thank you. I'm sleeping over at yours too. #okthanksbye

Sege: Kmt. Just be ready sha..

     And this is pretty much what every other and the weekends look like. The funny thing is no matter how many times I ask he NEVER says no. Like NEVER... It's A-mazing when I think about it because its not like he doesnt have things to do with his time and money (of course I make him pay wherever we go.. only God knows how much I owe him. He just ignores me now when I say "I'll pay you back, I promise' cos he knows its never happening) I swear I'm sure he dreads my bbms because I'm always asking for one thing or the other. And when I leave he breathes a sigh of relief: 'thank God she's leaving, I can have my life back..' And a few days later he tweets 'So i miss my annoying sister.'
Haha, and then I tweet/bbm back: '...and I love/miss you even more'


So here's to you Chief Aldmoni: Happy Birthday! Hope you're having a good one. Remember to look out for yourself and don't over-do the martyr thingy.  (at least not for other people, if its for me, its fine :) )

Love you much,

Mobobbs

She's back..... finally

Ok, so I'm actually blogging... Even I can't believe this. The last post I put up was in MAY 2010 and before that maybe sometime in late '09. I've been more than lazy about this blog I tell you and if not for O.A.O it probably wouldn't exist anymore. So standing O for The exercise junkie for blogging for the two years I've been AWOL...

Anyhowsers (I totally just made that word up), coming back to blogging made me realize that there are soooo many things that I start that I just abandon... You cant even begin to imagine the number of projects I've tried my hands on that I'm like...I'll get to that later or I'm so busy right now, no one would possibly expect me to focus on x, y or z... basically excuses that sound fabulous to me but in actuality are just really spineless... I'm just really tired of all my unfinished projects.....

So I decided to create a bucket list for the rest of my time in DC since imma be dipping in a few months (to where, only Jehovah knows). A lot of the things on this bucket list are things I've always wanted to do and things that I've started to do but never finished. Like this blog....

You know what I think my worst unfinished project is though? I think its relationships. I can be so gung-ho about people and all but I realize that when I get really busy, the first thing that falls off for me is communication..... And I really do try.... but it doesn't go down well with people.. I've heard people say all kind of things like 'oh, you don't care about me or anybody but yourself', 'life runs on your own schedule', 'you say you care but you do the opposite', 'you don't love me', 'you make me feel like an option' and other variations of these phrases.... *sigh*

Do you know what I tell them? 'I was thinking about you the whole time'. It sounds cheesy, but its soooooo true you have no clue. Like the whole time I've actually been thinking 'oh how is so and so doing? i miss them....' But the reality of this hit me when I lost some meaningful friendships (this is not to say that it's all been my fault, but still I like to take responsibility for my goofs). People don't know I'm 'thinking' about them no matter how much i say so because it's unprovable.

So I cut my losses and cleaned my act up. And I've begun to make an effort. And if you're one of my friends, you will notice the difference if you haven't already. It's exhausting trying be warm and fuzzy when I'm a very laissez faire person generally but I think its well worth it. At least I don't have to feel guilty anymore and try to overcompensate. ok that sounds a little self-serving... but on the realz though, relationships are richer when people care about the feelings of others, even when you feel they're being melodramatic and oversensitive. At least in my own opinion....

So the rest of senior year will be spent completing my bucket list and working on my relationship skills so I don't end up an old lonely woman with no family or friends.... (Actually, I know that wont happen cos I'll have O.A.O and @blackivory21 forever not for any other reason but for the fact that these babes are colder than... As if anybody could actually be colder than Mobobbs... (I love you both))

I'll put up the bucket list in my next post and I'll be good about my blogging, I promise....


Stay warm this weekend,

The Martian.

Random

lol. I don't know why I put that picture on there. I think it's funny. But yea, so what to write about today....? I'm kinda stuck... and it sucks.. oh well, i feel like writing nonetheless, so i'm gonna do it damnit! (pardon my french). Hmmmm....

Wait, so everyone knows oao can be quite the workout fiend (even though she has been slacking lately.. no bueno) . So i'm going to make this post sort of like a collage of funny workout pictures i've come across.. and i'll try to put a running commentary on the side.. fye (for y'alls entertainment :)lol

Here goes....

doesn't he look sexy (when you cover his face).. lol.. bloody show off.. and he looks like he knows it too.. look at that grin.. and those biceps and quads... i'm sure he's on that 'juice'..llol

haha! homie looks like he's bout to die.. lol. i don't know if the cloud behind him is gas.. or air...lol! but you gotta commend him for making the effort though.. he'll soon be like the buff dude in the picture up top (if he keeps chasing it long enough)

aww... how cute.. the female in the picture looks like she's about to pass out.lol..the funny thing is that that'll be me too.. only i would probably look like i was about to slap the waiter.. "what nonsense".. and the guy is like "you think that's for me? are you kidding me? gtfoh with that mess" haha.. cute.

i think this one is funny, because usually you'd expect the babe to be the one fretting about her weight.. how many times you heard (or said, ladies) "I gotta get my booty right for my man"?..lol. women, they never cease to amaze me. But it's cool how he's doing it for his wife... how thoughtful..

and finally, this one is just plain funny. she's so determined and full of optimism at first... until she see's someone who's 'genetically gifted'. well, i wonder is the smaller (blonde and lighter-skinned babe, i'm sure she had blue eyes too.. ain't it funny how there's a set standard for what is desirable? I know it's cartoon, but if it was an actual photograph the 'model chic' would be photoshop'ed and airbrushed to look so 'perfect' that only a fool would think it was real/untouched. Who's to say there's anything wrong with the 'fat chic'..lol.. (i mean, she may want a different body.. but only if it because she wants it, not because she thinks she needs it to be beautiful.. *sigh*..) anyway..lol.. i know i look at some women and i'm like dang, i want her body (guess i'm guilty too, huh) at the end of the day, i don't think anyone is truly satisfied.. there's always that 'if only'... or 'i just need..' the trick is to love yourself regardless of what you don't like, and if it bothers you so much, work at fixing it, while not forgetting to love you..haha. okay, so i wrote more than necessary on that one.. but yea..lol.

Okay, gotta go now.. hope this post was entertaining.. at least a little bit..?

Stay sexy people.. and remember to get your workout on today, even if it means walking to the tv to turn it on, as opposed to using the remote (you can then go on to use the remote to switch channels) or walking the long way to the freezer to get that tub of ice cream, the key is to burn extra calories...haha

~the fit and oh so sexy~

.oao.