#random

♪So hard to breathe this air that we call love,

Aint nothing worse than the hurt we receive from love,

When you get hurt by the one you living for,

Pain can make you wanna love no more♪

Lol... feels like i aint wrote on here in a minute and a half..*sigh*... well, i kinda miss it...lol.. i have written a bunch of stuff though... it's just that most of the things i've been writing bout recently been like too 'deep' to put on here just yet... maybe later.. maybe.. but yea, just felt like i should put something up.. and you know.. 'Holla'..lol. aint really got much to say... right now.. at this particular moment in time..lol.. i think a music post is in order.. best way to write about nothing and still write about something if you know what i mean...lol.. but yea, theres a few songs i'm feeling at the moment, so maybe i could do that... or i could do a post about my favorite like all time songs...hmmm... we'll see..lol..well i'm bout to be out..haha (said i wasn't gonna actually put nothing up just now..) but yea.. here's one of them songs... Dirty Money feat. Drake- 'Loving you no more'. Loves it!

"so many tears i've cried,

but all for nothing i'm afraid to say"

"Damn. Tell me what I'm gone do
Since everything I'm trying to forget is all true....

...But ahhhhh, you see the same one I'm missing

Is basically the reason I became something different

It's just that I remember me before...

And if you could do the same baby then we'll be for sure"

lol.. i could write one/two things bout this song.. but um.. yea.. No. enjoy it though.. :) And i think its funny that 99% of the songs i'm 'feeling' have Drake on them.. Maybe I should do a 'Drizzy' post... hmm... Oh, and i can't believe that's Diddy singing too.. #deep.. it's amazing what autotune can do...lol..

♫♪...so selfishly you can only show feelings when your feel yours in jeopardy..

oh time, oh time has changed and i'm no longer willing

can't you see how my heart is bleeding...♪♫

lol.. okay, i'll stop now. adios people.

~*the ever so sexy*~

.oao.

Days #6&7

Yea.. I missed day 6... My bad.. I don't even remember why... But yea.. I'm going to go out on limb and say it went umm.. well..(?)

Today aka day 7... well, could have gone better. That's all i'm going to say. Worked out quite a bit today.. even though i think i could have done more.. ate a lot of that white stuff aka sugar today.. i swear that shit is like crack...*sigh* i might need to go to rehab for that...

But yea, I saw that 'For Colored Girls' movie today.. I loved it.. Tyler Perry came through and did his thing once again.. That's one movie I won't mind watching again. I would have gone in on the movie.. But i'm not tryna spoil it for anyone.. But yea, LOVED! it.. Went to see it with the wifey..... and we was steady cracking up in there..lol.. we were scared that a mob of 'colored'lol folk would beat us up for making so much noise.. haha.. good times.. :)

anyways.. I've got to go now.. my day starts at 6 in the morning.. its 1am right now.. just got in and people are still unsure of what they doing tonight..*sigh* all I know is that my bed calls and my o-chem textbook is finna singing me a lullaby to sleep...lol

~always sexy~

.oao.

Days #4&5

First of, my bad for not posting yesterday... was mad tired, and the very thought of looking for my laptop and typing just made me want to cry...haha but yea, i shall try to write about the skipped day all the same, even though its like a blur now and i don't remember much (yes, i know it was just yesterday)

Day 4- like i said, i don't remember much... just know i titled my workout 'reverse cowgirl in slow motion'.. haha.. No, i wasn't listening to T-Pain while i was working out.. nor is it what y'all probably thinking.. It was just very... well very retarded/backwards.. and slow too.. took me twice as long to complete the workout..spent an hour doing a 30 minute workout.. tell me how that makes sense.. *sigh*

Day 5- aka today.. went umm not so good to be honest. So like i had to write a list of like what i ate for a few days, sort of like a diet journal, and when i showed it to one of my trainers, she was appalled. She described it as 'horrible' lol.. said i was eating all the things i wasn't supposed to eat and that granted i may train hard, but might as well not be doing anything considering the way i eat.. For one she was like 'candy is not food'..haha.. and that i eat too much sugar/empty calories. darn.. she was also like she wonders how i'm not constantly hungry, as i don't really eat much but sugar.. I never looked at it that way before.. so yea.. gotta work on that (again). The workout today was rather mediocre.. could have done more/gone harder.. but i didn't. I think i'm getting lazy/losing my mojo... what to do.. I might need workout therapy to rekindle my love for the game haha.. oh well..

Anyways.. gotta go now.. need to do work, then catch up on sleep... hopefully will post again tomorrow.. Now that I think about it, I know mad stuff happened on wednesday (day 4) i just can't remember right now.. oh well.. Au revoir.

the ever so sexy

.oao.

Day #3

Day 3....

went okay.. could have been better..lol.. I feel like i said that yesterday.. I was unable to go to the gym as I had intended... There's just not enough hours in the day!! Couldn't go cos I have to work on this paper... *sigh*... anywayss... this is probably going to be like the shortest post ever cos i gotta go now.. crazy tired.. and got mad homework to do too!!! i just want to cry now.. but yea, it's not like that would help my situation... (even though it would make me feel better) *sigh*..

the tired, but still ever sexy

.oao.

Day #2

"They finally got it through my head not to run my mouth so when y'all talk about you know who I donno what y'all talking 'bout"

lol.. I love that song! esp Andre 3000's part...

Anyways, this aint bout music... This supposed to be my progress report, right? Today went well, we thank God. Could have been better, but I wont beat myself up too much about it. Was crazy tired (maybe cos I aint slept properly in a bit) and i dont think i will until Friday *sigh* the Lord is my strength) I did eat today.. Maybe a little more that i woulda liked.. (i would have like to have eaten nothing... so you get the idea..lol) and worked out a little bit... not as much as I would have liked... I kinda overslept after i got home.. and it was too late to go to the gym after i woke up... that really made me sad for a minute.. but i'll be fine... :(

So yea, thats the progress report for today... Don't think I will be eating tomorrow though.. Like my 'common sense' is telling me that not eating is not the way forward... but another part of me is telling me that it is... donno which one to listen to... well confused... Anyways.. Gotta go now.. Wish me luck on not eating tomorrow..

ps: I know i was crazy upset over the weekend over something that happened... But like now, i'm good, i realized that i was focusing too much on the negative and overlooking the positive.. a couple of really good things happened too. Anyways.. that was just a random addition.. Gotta go now.. Bye!!!

~*the forever sexy*~

.oao.

Day #1

Okay, so today is Sunday, right? And like I went to church, right?lol. I actually like going to church.. Cos sometimes, even though I feel like it's...yea..(lol) Every time I go I feel like God is talking to me..*blankstare*..lol

Well, I concluded that or should I say realized that while I'm here thinking about how my workout life sucks and i'm focusing on other things that aren't really relevant, I haven't really done anything to better myself spiritually.. So yea, I gotta work on that..lol.. A lil' something for y'all to think about on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.. :) y'all can thank me later..(act like my name is Drake or something..haha!) So yea, that's some grown folk ish...lol.. haven't really said nothing on that in a bit. I would have talked more about it.. but I aint no preacher..lol

But yea... Day 1... went well.. worked out for a bit :) oh, and I decided that the not eating thing wasn't the way forward. I was sick for most of last week, and in my heart of hearts I know it was cos i wasn't eating right. Plus i also know that not eating is not exactly the best way to lose weight.. so yea, i scraped that from the list.. and made myself eat, even though i didn't really feel like it. So yea, that's my daily update.. Hopefully I'll keep up the good work and not dismount the horsie (lol) again..

Gotta love and leave y'all now.. I'm reading this book for class.. And let's just say that this book...lol... well, it can be applied to both the 'grown' and 'sexy' aspects of this blog.. most especially if you take the last letter away from one of them words.. i'll let you figure out which word..lol.. the book is on some deep shit... I'll see how it goes, and maybe i'll be nice and share some of the information contained in the book on here..haha. anyways.. i feel like i'm rambling now.. so yea, another update or should i say progress report coming up tomorrow. ciao :)

~the grown&sexy~

.oao.

Random/rant/whatever

Heyyyyyyy!!

Lol.. so i havent been on here in a minute... My bad... been busy with school.. life.. same old song..*sigh*... I had written a post previously... but 'someone' read it the wrong way.. so i kinda had to take it off.... and then i started writing another one earlier today.. cos i had A LOT on my mind... but i decided not to put it on here anymore.. cos it was kinda #deeeeeeep.. and like i was about to put an asshole on blast.. but decided to chill on that... for now.. and it was one of them motherfuckers too... whoosahhh.. you shoulda talked to me like 2 hours ago... i was on a whole 'nother tip.. like 'fuck em niggas, i dont give a damn bout these niggas'.. *Weezy voice*.. but like i talked to someone who i know like cares about me and he made me feel better... and like one of my best best (yea, said that twice-lol) friends from like high/secondary school holla'd at me like just now... and like i aint talk to him in a minute.. so yea, that kinda lifted my mood a little... just a little bit though...

I still feel like crap. :( last night was like, the worst night i've had in agesssss!!! like i really dont get the way some people's brains operate... like where they do that at... honestly.. but like i said, i shall not delve into that... not here.. and not just yet... maybe later.. just maybe... cos the post i wrote on it... ooooh chil'... *deep breath*....

Anywayyyysssss! I kinda have a long day ahead of me... one i was kinda looking forward to until last night which yea... not gonna describe it again.. but yea... I should like do something like workout now before i go... but like... i dont feel like moving.... I just want to lay in my bed all day... and cuddle with Tyrese...(thats my 'cuddly'..*blankstare*) haha!! okay... enough of that 'emosh' display.. but you get the picture. I'm pissed as *!**$%@$!$!... But yea... I should work out, cos i feel like i gained 50 pounds, when i needed to have lost like 100pounds.. so now i need to lose like 150pounds in like 4 weeks.. because i signed up for this thing...

But like my workout life has been.... lets just say its not what it was... I mean, i have school and work and all that.. but like that has always been there.. I always found a way.. I always found time.. But lately... I've been slippin' son... I dont know why. I'm supposed to be getting stronger... Not lazier... my body is supposed to be getting harder and sexier too!!! ughhh!!! i'm so mad at my self right now.. Not gonna eat for a week!! no jokes.. And working out used to be like my primary tension reliever too.. (it used to be writing.. but i stopped that.. got in trouble for that..long story...) but like yea.... i think i'm going to cry now...lol.. and i think like not working out is what has made me like things get to me more... damn.. gotta fix that, huh...?

*sigh* anyways... (yea, i said that again.... what?!lol) so what i fell off for a minute... i'm bout to climb back on top that horsie...lol.. and for the first week i shall chronicle my journey (on the horsie..lol) everyday... yup.. i'm making a commitment to blog everyday (about my 'diet' *blankstare* and exercise routine) for 7 consecutive days... haha.. sounds like jokes to me right now.. but i shall.. and may be i shall also input a little bit of 'juicy' info that i pick up along the way... lolzers (yup, i said that too... what?!)haha... okay... i would say that the fact that my blood sugar is low, and my brain aint getting enough sugar/glucose, is the reason i'm chatting (or should i say typing) nonsense... but like... haha.. yea.. I just ate.. and I just ate A LOT too.. (i do that sometimes when i'm mad/stressed/angry-bad, i know but oh well.. we all have our weaknesses/flaws right? i'm bout to fix that one though.. watch me)

But yea.. like i said, i've got a looooooong day ahead of me... I need to start getting ready... both physically and mentally. plus i feel like i've 'shared' too much... and someone (just someone) might think i'm crazy *shrugs* oh well.. i would say i don't care.. but i actually kinda do.. but then again i can only be me... so yea... gotta love and leave y'all... for now.. will be back tomorrow with updates...haha.. hopefully... (remember.. the diet/exercise thing..?) but yea.. 7 days.. hope y'all dont get tired of me...

deuces...

~*~the forever and ever and ever sexy (and maybe a tad bit too random)~*~

.oao.