when i'm down and out
i never seem to get tired...
ooh tired of your love...
..cos you are wonderful..
...you're wonderful
and i'm dying to make you see
anything you want, inside your heart
you can find right here inside of me..."
lol.. i do love me some Dru Hill, don't I? I'm proud to say I have like all their albums..haha.. and Jodeci.. and Tyrese.. and Joe.. and R. Kelly!!! and all them kinda 'r&b cats'... like the original/real r&b people.. not these fake niggas *coughs* trey songz *coughs* and co.... I mean, his new joint, 'Can't be friends' is banging tho..lol.. I can't lie.. I stay listening to that ish..
Anyways.. this one's not about music.. (i do acknowledge the fact that i do talk about music a little bit too much..lol.. oh well.. *shrugs*) Okay, so this post is supposed to be more 'upbeat'.. but before I begin.. I have something on my chest i need to say..
"I wish we never did it. I wish we never loved it.. I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now there ain't no way we can be friends.."
SIKE!!!!
Nah, that aint it.. what it is is that, i do know that I do act 'different' sometimes.. and sometimes my actions are completely opposite from my intentions/feelings... and this is not a reflection if how i feel about you.. it's just.. like.. 'generalization'.. lol.. its a term in psych.. I'll write more about it and how it relates to this specific situation in the future (hopefully).. but right now i'll give a summary/explanation - you know like how when one person, guy/girl, does something wrong and you go and say all guys are shit... yea.. that's it.. in a nutshell...
haha.. so i just re-read that, and it didn't make too much sense.. but like basically, if i act 'different'.. its cos i probably acted in the proper/correct way before and got hurt.. simple and short.. :)
now to the topic du jour.. (finally!) I decided not to let the negative feelings/situations get me down.. like sure.. bad shit happens.. but like the strength of a (wo)man is not in how few times (s)he falls... but how many times (s)he gets back up.. i think that's how the saying goes, no?lol.. and like there's a lot to be grateful for.. too much even.. Like, whatever happened its not like i'm dying or anything.. and even if i was, I have faith in God enough to know that I will be alright... I have a roof over my head.. clothes on my back.. shoes on my feet.. food to eat... people who care about me.. shooo. There's too much.. I've seen people and heard their stories and i'm like dang.. how you keep going.. so yea, i do know i'm a little too sensitive/touchy feely about a lot of things (everything tbh).. i need to remember to stay.. you know more positive about shit... even though sometimes it gets HARD...
yea, so today.. i've decided to smile more.. ain't nothing changed.. just my attitude/outlook.. (let's see how long it lasts though..) I'll tell you a little bit about the day I had.. only cos i feel like 'sharing'.. feel free to stop reading now.. cos everything from this point is 'extra' and random..lol.. so yea, today, woke up kinda early.. didn't eat breakfast.. as i ate real late the night before.. think i fell asleep eating even..lol. don't even remeber.. i was knocked the eff out..smh.. decided to dress up like a boy...haha.. wore baggy pants, (as opposed to the usual skinnys), even though they made my already big butt look even bigger... gotta work on that.. *sigh* (.. sagged them low too.lol..) wore a hoodie and jacket.. and i'm telling you if you took me to any gay bar, all the ladies would hit on my sexy ass.. hehe.. oh, and there's this dress that i have.. tried it on today.. barely managed to get the zipper up.. made me sad for a bit... as that means no food for a few days.. *sigh* then my hair.. took me bout an hour to get it to listen... little did i know it was gonna snow... and 'natural' hair and moisture don't get along too well..smh..thankfully it kinda stayed put and didn't do nothing too crazy.. read the Bible, prayed.. then dipped.. went to study for a bit.. then lunch.. worked out for a little bit.. going to chill with the girls in a minute.. should be a good night hopefully.. just gotta remember to tell myself to forget about the fact that there's somewhere else i kinda want to be right now... *sigh*.. but can't be sad about that.. gotta keep smiling, right.. :)
~the incredibly sexy~
.oao.
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